The tree of life heals my heart!

It was spring 2021, as I sat outside on the patio with my mother enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face. 

My mother said, “I want to plant a tree just above the hill. What do you think?”

“I think that’s a great idea. I love trees,” I answered with a great deal of enthusiasm. “What kind of tree do you want?” 

“I like a maple tree. They have beautiful colors in the fall,” she said as her green eyes sparkled with the possibility of seeing her vision through.

And so the maple tree was planted. I cry some tears of joy for the beautiful memory she gave me and tears of sadness for my aching heart that misses her with all my heart. 

The fall season has arrived and the little maple tree’s leaves have turned red and yellow. just as she said it would. I have to stop writing to wipe my river of tears away. I’m so touched by her lasting gifts.

When my mother passed away I decided to plant a tree in her honor. As I scanned through my emails this morning I found the certificate of memory for her tree. I smiled thinking she would be so happy to know there’d be a tree in the forest planted with loving intention. 

A year or so ago I was out west and came upon a store called “Karma Luck.” I went into the store and found a copper made tree of life that was supposed to have been made in Tibet. The little tree with black colored leaves coming out of a white rock is a symbol of the source of life. Legend has it if you put notes under the tree the universe will bring to you what you have asked for. I have since learned many other religions have the tree of life as a symbol representing the source of life or a cycle of life and death itself.

My mother loved that tree of life I gave her so much, she purchased a bedspread that had a pattern of the tree of life. She was a woman of great faith and believed God really does answers prayers. 

About a month after my mom died, I went to church for the first time in a long time. As I sat in the wooden pew I glanced up at the alter. On the right side hanging from the ceiling was a giant white banner with colorful symbols and the lettering which said, “The Tree of Life.” 

I sat amazed and then immediately started to cry. I cried because I couldn’t go home and tell my mom about the tree of life I saw at church. I cried because I felt disappointment and a sense of loss that I didn’t have her to share my news with. I was sad and then I became peaceful knowing that she would have thought my discovery was pretty cool and not ironic at all.

So, there was sort of this theme about trees that brings up a variety of different emotions – sadness, joy, smiles, sorrow, and the pain of loss. And yet, as the summer gives way to the fall and the trees grace us with their beautiful colors, I am reminded that one of the best gifts my mother gave me was planting that maple tree. Because I think she knew anytime anyone saw that tree we’d think of her and her endearing spirit of love we were so fortunate to have.

If all of these elements were in a kaleidoscope, I’d see darkness as I’d feel the sadness wash over me. As I turn the kaleidoscope, I’d see beautiful red, yellow and green colors that represented hope and life and gratefulness. I’d hear the whispering wind blow as it shook the leaves from the trees. And as the sun retreats further away, I’d remember that sunny spring day when the little maple tree was given a place to grow in my backyard. A real live tree of life representing the beauty and spirit of a woman I’ll never forget.