Tag: bipolar disorder

Speaking up for Mental Health

by Amy Gamble, posted in Uncategorized

If you’ve been following my blog for any part of the past 10 years, you know I’ve written mostly about bipolar disorder, recovery and anxiety. One of my struggles I didn’t write much about was PTSD. I always felt like my journey with PTSD was very complicated and honestly there were some taboo topics I didn’t feel comfortable writing about… until this past year.

In January 2023, I began an 11 month journey to write a book about my experiences with mental health challenges. Almost everyday I wrote to finish a manuscript and ultimately had a book available on Amazon called Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma. I found the entire writing process to be unexpectantly be very empowering.

Finally, after all these years, I had spoken up. In my book I write, “My name is Amy Jean Gamble and I will speak my truth.” And that is what I did.

As I began writing I had found a Brene Brown quote that says, “One day you will tell your story of what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” It’s my hope that the readers know they are not alone and find some comfort in knowing someone else went through some serious stuff as a result of trauma. But in the end, even though so many bad things happened, recovery was real and possible.

Here’s an excerpt from my book: “I had to come to terms with each piece of my past. From the sexual assaults, which wreaked havoc with my life, to the interactions with the criminal justice system and a near death experience. One event was quite a bit to cope with, but layered together, it was a lot to process. I tended to focus on one small piece at a time. Healing and grieving weren’t a linear process. The memories ebbed and flowed. I researched and found many stories of people who had struggled. Their stories shined a light for me that gave me hope I could fully recover too.”

It’s my hope that the stories I share in Unsilenced will give hope to someone else too.

Unsilenced

Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma is a deeply moving story of one woman’s journey through trauma’s unexpected, devastating effects and her ultimate recovery. Amy Gamble’s Story will leave the reader optimistic that even the darkest days can lead to bright outcomes.

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A Letter from my sixth sense about suicide

by Amy Gamble, posted in Uncategorized

For anyone who may struggle with suicidal thoughts…

Don’t quit. Don’t you dare quit. When you’ve struggled you’ve always made it through. I promise you, you will get back up and be bigger, faster and stronger. Your light was meant to shine for a very long time. Don’t put out your light before you’re called.

Erase the whole idea that giving up is even a possibility. I know it’s hard for you. But taking your own life isn’t a solution. The only thing suicide should be is a thought and never an action. The moment you have those thoughts I want you to think of our conversation. The time when you confided in me how after the first time you wanted to die, literally three years later you walked into Olympic Stadium as a 1988 Olympian. If you die by suicide the ripple effect of all the good you did would be erased.

And that’s what you have to think about. The ripple in the water you want to create. All the people, places and things you want to see and touch. The legacy you want to leave. Don’t cut yourself short, because I know for a fact that things will look better in the morning. The moment you open your eyes and take a breath. Your problems may not go away overnight, but you may look at them a little differently. And if you don’t, talk yourself through another day with the promise that tomorrow will be just a little bit brighter.

So, don’t you quit. Don’t you dare quit. Don’t indulge those dark, toxic thoughts. There is help. There is hope. And most importantly there is love. More love than you can imagine. Open your mind to the possibility and hope that your emotional pain will have a powerful salve.

Believe healing is possible. Time may not heal all wounds, but it sure helps. The more distance you get from a difficult situation the lesser the pain it inflicts.

For your friends who struggle, have them make a mantra for the dark nights and soul less days. In that mantra make sure they tell themselves suicide is not an option.

Every action begins with a thought. Control the thought..control the action. Even impulsive decisions start with a thought. Monitor your thoughts.

Above anything, if your friend is struggling don’t drink a drip of alcohol. It clouds judgement and erases our ability to think rationally. No booze and no pills. Your life depends on it.

I know that apathetic feeling well. A shrug of the shoulders, a tilt of the head and there you have it a desperate notion to just give up.

Don’t do it. Don’t you quit. Tell yourself right now, “I’m not going to quit. I’m going to fight no matter what!”

Life is a precious gift. Hold on to yours gently and remind yourself how worthy and beautiful you are. Things will work out, I promise. Everything always works out.

This is written for suicide prevention month. I am personally not struggling with suicidal thoughts. I’ve written this in hopes of helping someone who might be struggling.

Amy gamble

Amy is an author and former Olympian who writes about mental health. Her second book, “Unsilenced,” will be published in 2024.

www.amygambleauthor.com

Breaking the Silence: A Journey Into Why I Understand Psychosis

by Amy Gamble, posted in Advocacy, Bipolar Disorder, Stigma, Uncategorized

Psychosis is a scary word

June 1984. I arrived back home to West Virginia from Knoxville, after completing my freshman year at the University of Tennessee. It was mid-morning and the phone rang. On the other end of the phone, was my uncle telling me my mother was injured from a fall she took off a thirty foot balcony. “What the hell?” I wondered out loud. All my Uncle said was, “You have to get to the hospital in Baltimore and help your mother.”

I was confused. My mother was over in Baltimore visiting one of my sisters. I knew from talking to my mom on the phone that she seemed somewhat confused. But how could any of this of happened?

After several hours on the road, I found myself standing in front of a psychiatrist. He was raising his voice at me and telling me my mother had a psychotic episode. He said, “You need to convince your mother to sign herself into a psych unit voluntarily or we’ll have to send her to the state institution. You don’t want that do you?” Of course I didn’t want that. I’d seen the 1970’s movie One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, I was horrified my mother was going to end up on a psych ward like the horrifying one in the movie.

Overwhelmed. Overwhelmed is an understatement to how at 19 years old I was being asked to process so much information at one time. I’ve come to learn that what I experienced was a traumatic event. But I had no idea at the time. So, I did what my instincts told me to do…I wrote down all the words the psychiatrist was spewing out and put them on a yellow legal pad. Psychotic episode. Hallucinations. Manic-depressive illness. Schizophrenia. Psychosis. Psychosis. Psychosis.

There was no google back in 1984. Instead, I took myself to the library and looked up every word on my piece of paper and wrote down the definition. I had to understand intellectually what was happening, but I needed to understand the language first.

All those words were like a foreign language to me. They were scary, “crazy,” words that would begin to come out of my mouth regularly for the remainder of my life.

And that was my first encounter with the words psychotic episode. Honestly, I could have gone an entire life without ever understanding those words. But I didn’t get that choice. We don’t get to choose what illnesses effects ourselves or our loved ones. I simply had to deal with it, because it had become a part of my life. Front and center.

What is a psychotic episode?

A psychotic episode is a period of time when a person has a break from reality. During this time a person may experience significant disturbances in their thoughts, emotions, perceptions and behaviors. Usually it involves hallucinations (see or hearing things that aren’t there) and/or delusions (holding fixed, false beliefs). Psychotic episodes are often associated with mental health conditions like, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or major depressive disorder. A psychotic episode is a temporary occurrence and can vary in intensity and duration for each person.

My mother had a psychotic episode as a result of bipolar disorder. Although she experienced various symptoms over the years, she had no prior treatment history for mental health, until that dreadful day in Baltimore. In her mind, someone was trying to hurt her, so she ran for the nearest exit. Unfortunately, that exit was off a thirty-foot balcony. And that is how she ended up nearly losing her life.

1984. That is the year I became a mental health advocate, before I ever even knew there was such a term for providing education and support for someone who is experiencing a mental health condition. It meant I was advocating for my mom to get the proper treatment.

Without even realizing what I was doing, I openly faced off the stigma of mental illness by telling people in my life what had happened to my mother. I didn’t talk about it with shame, I spoke about it matter of factly. Some people I told made up stories about me and spread gossip that I was “crazy.” Some had little to no compassion for either my mom, myself or my family. Few people knew what to say. I don’t recall ever hearing, “I’m sorry this happened.”

Because psychosis is a scary word. I’m not afraid of it anymore, because I understand it well.

In my next blog post I’ll explain from my own personal experience what a psychotic episode it like.

Amy gamble

Amy Gamble is a National Award Winning Mental Health Advocate who writes about mental health conditions. Her new book “Unsilenced,” will be released in 2024. http://www.amygambleauthor.com

Winning the Battle Against Depression: Tips and Strategies

by Amy Gamble, posted in Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Mental Illness, Recovery, Uncategorized

My First Battle with Depression

My first introduction to the depression doldrums came when I was about 14 years old. I remember having a difficult time getting out of bed, feeling really sad and having zero motivation to want to do anything. It seems what caused my depression is less relevant now than how I managed to overcome it. Because when we struggle with depression that’s what we have to do – fight.

From that moment of being a teenager and well into my adulthood, I had many depressive episodes. Some lasted longer than others, but they were all brutal. Those episodes made me a shadow of myself. They left me feeling empty, despondent and sometimes very cynical. I wrote about my experience with depression in a blog post called, “I am depression.”

Persronal Medicine Coaching

Since those years, I’ve come to learn multiple strategies for battling depression. I’m going to share what has worked for me over the years. I also have learned tips and strategies for helping others manage depression from my training as a Personal Medicine Coach. A Certified Personal Medicine Coach is an expert in supporting people as they discover and use Personal Medicine in their recovery.

Personal Medicine supports recovery-oriented practice, is evidence-based and has been shown to increase activation which leads to more robust health outcomes. The practice of Personal Medicine meets SAMHSA’s criteria for recovery-based practice and the core competencies of peer support.

In my experience as a Personal Medicine Coach and in my experience as someone who has faced off with depression on numerous occasions, I’ve found the following strategies to be very helpful.

Tips and Strategies to Deal with depression

1. Seek professional help – Consider seeking help from a therapist or psychiatrist for counseling or medication. It’s much easier to stay on top of depression, if you treat it early. If you’ve been struggling with symptoms for more than two weeks, think about seeking out some help. If you don’t see a psychiatrist, you can start with your primary care physician. The longer you wait the more difficult the healing journey will become.

2. Talk to someone – Talking to someone you trust, such as a friend or family member, can help you cope and make you feel less alone. If you are feeling severely depressed, do not hesitate to contact a crisis helpline. 988 is the suicide crisis hotline in the United States.

3. Practice self-care – Get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly. Participate in activities that you enjoy or that make you feel good. Even though it can be so incredibly difficult to get out of bed and attempt to exercise, it’s one of the best ways to fight back against depression.

As for eating healthy foods, that’s always been one of my warning signs for a depressive episode – I’d get drawn to eating candy and sweets in my attempt to improve my mood. This always left me with a 15-20 pound weight gain at the end of a depressive episode. Now, I attempt to catch the symptoms early and try to stay away from the things that I know are not good for me.

4. Reframe negative thoughts – Try to question or challenge negative thoughts that come to mind, focusing on facts rather than assumptions or judgments. This is far easier said than done. Getting negative is also one of my warning signs that something isn’t quite right, as I’m usually a positive person. Changes in the way we think are a part of living with the symptoms of mental illness. Being aware of our thoughts can help us guard against the negative spiral that can happen from depression.

5. Make a routine and stick to it – Establishing a routine can help create structure and stability in your life, which can be particularly helpful for those who find themselves feeling unmotivated or lost.

6. Surround yourself with positivity – Spend time with people who uplift you, and consider engaging in activities that help you feel good. When you feel depressed no one wants to spend time with others who are feeling good. Sometimes being around other people uplifts me and other times it makes me feel bad that I didn’t feel good. But I do know isolation makes depression worse. Finding people who accept me for whatever mood I’m in and help uplift my spirits is helpful.

7. Seek support from others with similar experiences – Join a support group or online community that understands what you are going through. The Depression Bipolar Support Alliance is an excellent organization that provides supports groups at no cost.

Experiences with depression are unique

It is essential to recognize that each individual’s experience with depression is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. If you are struggling with depression, setting up a support system and seeking help, and working with your health care provider are good steps towards finding relief. 

Best of luck in your battle with depression! Remember: depression doesn’t last forever, things will get better and you won’t always feel bad. Never give up the fight!

Amy Gamble

Author – Olympian – Activist

Author and Olympian

Amy Gamble

Amy Gamble is a National Award winning Mental Health Advocate. She’s taught hundreds of hours of classes in Mental Health First Aid and has been a sought after speaker on topics related to mental health.

www.amy-gamble.com

Five tips for managing anxiety

by Amy Gamble, posted in anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Never Give Up

More than 30% of adults in the United States have an anxiety disorder. A normal amount of anxiety is actually a way the brain responds to harmful situations or even stressful events. But when anxiety begins to interfere with sleep, daily activities and work it may be time to seek out some help.

When we do seek help for mental health conditions, we often get caught in this mode of a “pill” will fix my problem. It’s natural to think a medication might help you feel better. But taking a pill for any kind of mental health condition is only part of the solution. 

In my experience, medications have never healed me. They’ve been a part of the solution for helping me to manage PTSD and bipolar disorder. But what helped me in my recovery journey and what helps me manage my conditions is the many self-help strategies I’ve learned over the years.

Here are five tips for managing anxiety.

  • Focus on your breath

It seems rather basic to suggest focusing on breathing. But when we experience anxiety the tendency is to hold our breath or breath in short shallow breaths. When we call attention to our breath and focus on breathing deeply while counting to four or five, it’s actually kind of amazing at how effective it is to get some instant relief. It won’t make the anxiety disappear, but it’s one way to get some relief.

  • Use a grounding technique

There are numerous grounding techniques which help take the focus off of a particular random thought, worrying thought or perhaps even an obsessive thought. I like doing things that ground me in the present moment. I’ll pay close attention to my surroundings by noticing what I see, hear, smell, feel and taste. Sometimes I’ll think about a color and try to find everything in the room or outdoors with the same color I’m thinking about. Other times I’ll shift my worrying thought and focus on something that makes me feel good. I have pets, so paying attention to them is also grounding. The key is to get your mind off of the troublesome thought and onto something that brings more of a sense of peace. This strategy works best when combined with breathing. 

  • Exercise. Exercise. Exercise.

Not only is exercise great for physical health, it’s one of the best positive strategies for managing any kind of mental health condition. When we exercise our brain shuts off the anxious thoughts and focuses on what we are doing. If we’ve been worrying about something, we get transported into the present moment and into our bodies where we pay attention to working our muscles. Exercise can be anything where you’re moving your body. It can be housecleaning, cutting grass, walking a distance into the store. I was able to eliminate one of the medications I’ve been taking for anxiety, because of regular exercise. Start small and go slow. You’ll be surprised on how great you’ll feel.

  • Repeat a mantra

Coming up with a simple phrase that reassures ourselves is very effective in dealing with anxiety. I like the phrase, “Everything is going to be okay.” Or “I’m okay. Things will work out.” It’s amazing when we take the time to focus on a positive thought, it’s much harder for a negative worrying thought to enter our minds. You can come up with whatever mantra resonates with you. 

  • Refocus on things you can control

When we feel anxious, we worry about things outside of our control. Those worrying thoughts tend to multiply and make us feel even more anxious. The key is to focus on what we can control. It sounds like an easy task and it can be if we work at it. I like to a take deep breath in and exhale with an intentional thought on something I can control. It also helps to take a piece of paper and write down in two columns – the things I can control – the things I can’t control. 

I hope you find some of these tips helpful. You’ll be surprised on how these simple strategies will help manage anxiety.

Thanks for reading. If you like the content, don’t forget to subscribe to my blog.

Amy Gamble

Mental Health Advocate

Olympian – Author – Speaker

Mental Health Awareness Month: Fight or Flight Response

by Amy Gamble, posted in Advocacy, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Inspiration, Mental Health

In the beginning of April 2023, I started regularly going to the gym. I’ve always known the benefits of exercise on my mental health, but sometimes I get a little lazy. But I made up my mind I was going to exercise, eat healthy and lose weight. 

As I’m writing my book about resilience, I record various sections and then listen to them while I walk on the treadmill at the gym. I put on a noise cancelling headset, close my eyes and walk. 

One day I was listening intently to various intense parts of my book, eyes closed and in the zone. The treadmill was on the end, so there was space for someone to walk up beside me. I didn’t realize that at the time. 

This man who I don’t know walks up and starts to caress my arm. I’m so startled that I go into a fight or flight stress response and scream, while stumbling backwards off the treadmill and landing into a basketball defensive stance. My mind was clearly transported out of the present moment and my body was flooding me with adrenaline and cortisol in my system. 

Finally, I realized where I was and looked at the man who touched me and then followed me as I fell off the treadmill. 

He said, “Oh Amy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” I looked at him with disbelief and yet I kept asking myself, do I know this man? As it turns out, I didn’t.

I asked him, “What is it that you wanted?” He replied, “I wanted to let you know my wife enjoyed your talk at the women’s club.” I shook my head in disbelief, yet thankful I wasn’t injured.

I thanked him for the compliment and as he left, he stopped and caressed my arm again giving me the creeps. I got back on the treadmill with adrenaline still pumping through my system. I stayed there for a few minutes and then decided to leave.

I drove over to the grocery store and sat in the parking lot. I couldn’t bring myself to go in, as the effects of my trauma response was overwhelming my system.

It was in that moment as I sat there attempting to make myself go in the store, when I realized just how significant my symptoms of PTSD were in the summer of 2008, when I was going through a very difficult time processing memories from sexual assault. I decided to give myself a break and just go home. The store could wait. I needed to calm myself and see if I could regroup.

I took a lot of deep breaths. That seemed to help, but it did take several hours for my system to calm down and return to a normal state.

A couple of days later I’m back on the treadmill with my eyes wide open. The woman beside me was there the day I fell off the treadmill. She asked, “Did you know that man?” I said, “No. And that was really embarrassing.” “You should tell him directly, don’t touch me,” she said emphatically. 

Now, I’m not a small woman. I’m almost 6’ feet tall, I’m very strong and I outweigh a lot of people. Basically, I’m strong enough to fend for myself. However, when caught off guard and transferred back in time, I forget who I am in the present moment. 

One hand I’m like, “Wow. The brain is so fascinating in how it deals with traumatic memories. It stores those memories in our bodies for life.” On the other hand, I ask, “Will I ever be completely healed.” Sometimes I answer a bit disappointed in that I really believe there are so many layers to the healing process. It will probably take me a lifetime.

So…May is Mental Health Awareness month. I want to leave you with one definition of mental health, but remember it’s all about mind, body and spirit. They are all connected.

The World Health Organization defines mental health as “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”

Everyone has mental health. Not everyone has a mental health condition.

Mental health is on a continuum. 

I ask myself these questions when thinking about my mental health: Can I deal with everyday stressors in a healthy way? Do I have healthy coping strategies to make it through tough times or even unexpected stressors that come up? Am I realizing my potential? Do I have a sense of purpose?

Remember:  There is no health without mental health!

My Life by H.D. – Guest Poem

by Amy Gamble, posted in Advocacy, Bipolar Disorder, Mental Health Advocacy, Never Give Up

The following poem was written by my friend H.D. We’ve been friends for 8 years. He’s currently being held in a state psychiatric facility. Hopefully soon he’ll be released and be able to take the stage and share his story. Until then, I’m sharing his poem. I found it incredibly insightful. Anyone who lives with or has a loved who has bipolar, PTSD and/or struggles with addiction this poem will resonate.

My life is so contradictory it is as if it has been lived in reverse

My life is so ironic I wouldn’t be surprised if I was born in a hearse

My Life is having a slice of the American dream, a suburban fable

My life is a mutilated body, a toddler lying on an operating table

My life is an innocent boy taught never to yell or to curse

My life is a constant struggle, it stings and it hurts

My life is popularity while clicked in with the coolest kids in School

My life is a rapid rise to success, followed by a permanent position as a fool

My life is a privileged upbringing and food on the table

My life is a junkie brother that my Father would always enable

My life is the path of a warrior and the story of a survivor

My life is seeing drugs turn friends into backstabbing connivers

My life is an epic, yearlong, exotic vacation

My life is seemingly endless social deprivation

My life is a 3.8 GPA at a major University

My life is a mind skedded by psychiatric obscurity

My life is scaling massive peaks and climbing 1,000- foot rocks

My life is a battle to stand and it is agony when I walk

My life is endless mountain ranges that are covered in snow

My life is locked inside a cell with a dark, fluorescent, artificial glow

My life is a constant quest for action and thrills

My life is a daily force-fed handful of pills

My life is designer drugs and performance enhancing amphetamines

My life is barely missing a life sentence served in a state penitentiary

My life is moments of ecstasy and exciting nights without sleep

My life is terror filled unconsciously with Freddy Krueger on Elm Street

My life is being starved of rest till I scream and rip at my sheets

My life is energy so profound even the strongest meds couldn’t treat

My life is learning a language and flying around the world for a girl I never kissed

My life is a vast sea of potential wasted and opportunities forever missed

My life is Freedom to the wind, in Seattle, the city of rain

My life is the scorched Mojave Desert, stuck in confines, certifiably insane

My life is racing seamlessly through forests in an expensive Subaru sports car

My life is a continuous collection of broken bones and a bountiful set of scars

My life is on my hand and knees, searching for leftover drugs till I hurt my back

My life is Flushing a $3,000 necklace, just to see how my ego would react

My life is lived through fast paced excitement and fulfilling passions

My life is waiting endlessly for worthless commissary rations

My life is gliding through the sky at death-defying, terminal velocity

My life is seemingly ruined by a single, psychotic alleged atrocity

My life is holding onto audacious goals, I still believe I can fly

My life is day-to-day challenge, just to get by

My life is a constant case of close calls and unbelievable miracles

My life is intermittent unfortunate events, undeniably satirical

My life is overcoming incredible odds with un-phased determination

My life is a final freak accident, cheating me of remarkable coordination

My life is preachers telling me “you’re never given more than you can handle”

My life is having a guardian angel, when I still think religion is a scandal

My life is full appreciation for the moon, the stars, and all of creation

My life is characterized by risk taking behavior and suffering suicidal ideation

My life is day dreaming so much, my mind changes hand over fist

My life is waking up from a medically induced coma cuffed at both wrists

My life is a beautiful, luscious spot in nature where I prosper and thrive

My life is a barren, fenced off enclosure wondering what it means to be alive

My life is seeing and experiencing some of the world’s most amazing sights

My life is consumed by fire, as I am seared on bloody asphalt, and read my rights

My life is two severe brain disorders mixed with chemical dependence

My life is irreplaceable artwork lost through scorching fires of biblical vengeance

My life is a universe bent on pulling me down, in a world that always prevails

My life is a fate staying on track, when my luck tends to go off the rails

My life is struck by unexplained phenomena, an orb of white light in a powerful storm

My life is obliviously anything but moderate, typical, or adhering to the norm

My life can be summarized or defined in one final rhyme

My life is forever blessed and it’s cursed, at the same time

Wellness Journey: Healing and harmony

by Amy Gamble, posted in Uncategorized

I’m re-reading a book called “No Mud, No Lotus” by Thich Nhat Hanh. My dear friend Bill gave me the book a few years ago. I was in a different place in my healing journey, so the information I was processing about suffering, happiness, acceptance and many other wonderful life lessons is received very different today.

I’m reminded healing takes time.

I loved reading about how powerful staying in the present moment is. Especially striking was not allowing the ghosts of our pasts to victimize us in the present. Though I may have had suffering I don’t have to keep reliving it. I’ve learned to accept it. I don’t have to like some of the things that happened to me as a result of untreated and under treated bipolar disorder, but I can look at it from a different perspective now.

I’m reminded watering the positive seeds are important.

I’m very analytical. Sometimes that means having an overly critical eye on what needs fixed or solved. I’m an excellent problem solver. But sometimes I lose site of all that is right and all that is good.

When I look back with a focus on the positive, I find so many diamonds in the rough. Blessings too overwhelming to count. The truth is for as much trauma and tragedy I have encountered most of my experiences are overwhelmingly rich and pleasurable.

I’m reminded to honor my mind, body and spirit.

I’ve always believed in focusing on mind, body and spirit. I haven’t always practiced it. And this is okay. I accept my imperfections and am aware I will always be growing, learning, evolving and changing. Sometimes we do the best we can and this means we focus on the deepest part of our selves which cries for the most energy, until we find a balance within ourselves.

I’m reminded joy and happiness can come from the little things in life.

I’ve been a big dreamer and have benefited from this kind of mindset. My experiences are indeed so vast, as I have healed I’ve had a chance to focus on drawing upon those treasures I’ve accumulated. But at the end of the day it is still the butterfly showing up on a weed I’m about to cut down, that brings me great joy. The weed still stands for the butterfly to return and the hope of seeing its beauty again brings me happiness.

I’m reminded to find my true aspiration.

Years ago when I first went to college in my journal I wrote I wanted to help people. I pursued a degree in social work. A timeout from college to train for the Olympics took me to a different university without a social work program. But I have learned no matter the profession or what I am doing my true aspiration is to help others. The stronger I become the more energy I will have to give.

And finally I’m reminded to breathe and be grateful for my eyes, my hearing and the opportunity to pursue overall wellness. Any moment I become stressed or anxious or overthinking if I breathe I can ground myself.

I’m sharing this with you as part of my next step in my wellness journey. I know I will always have to live and manage a chronic illness, but I also have come to realize I don’t have to be a victim of it.

Bipolar disorder has not made me weaker it has in fact made me stronger. Perhaps not because I wanted it to or chose it, but it has chosen me and I am empowered to choose how I live in harmony with it.

Wishing you well.

Amy Gamble

Pay attention to Mental Health warning signs and make the turn!

by Amy Gamble, posted in Uncategorized

You’re driving down a road and suddenly see a sign indicating a sharp turn. Do you slow down? If you don’t you risk going over a steep cliff. It doesn’t mean you “will” go over the cliff…it’s importantly a warning sign to prevent an accident or death.

I’ve been a person in the past who ignored the warning signs for my mental health. At almost every turn I went off a steep cliff, nearly resulting in a pre-mature death while lost in the wilderness during a psychotic episode.

I don’t recommend ignoring the warning signs.

The one major warning sign for all mental health conditions (a.k.a. – mental illness) is the interruption of sleep. Have you ever had so much stress when you laid down to sleep the thoughts raced in your mind? Your sleep was interrupted and resulted in you feeling horrible the next day.

Chronic stress impacts are sleep habits. According to the National Institute of Health, “Sleep is important to a number of brain functions, including how neurons communicate with each other. Recent finding suggest sleep removes toxins in your brain.”

After years of ignoring warning signs I’m now hyper vigilant. If I forget every other warning sign, the fact I focus on my sleep–how little or how much–keeps me mentally healthy. If I sleep too much, it’s a good sign I’m cycling into a depressive episode and I use every coping mechanism possible to pull myself out before it gets severe.

If I sleep too little I risk having a hypomanic or manic episode. Hypomania is my warning sign. Allowing too many days without sleep revs my brain so much I can’t think straight and my thoughts race like a runaway train. I do everything in my power to prevent this from happening.

You don’t have to have a mental health condition to have poor mental health.

Coronavirus is impacting our mental health in ways that are known and in ways not yet known. Tom Insel a leading researcher and former head of the National Institute of Health notes deaths by suicide, opiod addictions and significant increases in depression will happen as a result of this pandemic.

This is a warning sign.

If each individual person knew the warning signs for mental health, we could change the curve of what is predicted. Mental health is about thinking, emotions, behavior and how we interact with others as a result of all those things.

Paying attention to our behaviors can give us warning signs. An extra glass of wine on occasion, no big deal. An entire bottle on more than one occasion, red flag. Did you know two glasses of wine a day put a man and one glass for a woman put you at risk for developing a substance use problem?

Self-medicating with drugs and alcohol is very common. I’ve fallen into the trap of drinking too much alcohol, before I even knew self-medication was a “thing.” I pay close attention to what I drink, when I drink and how much I drink if I consume any alcohol at all.

Drugs were never something I was into. Taking prescription drugs to manage a condition is one thing, using them inappropriately is another. These are all warning signs.

My suggestion is to search for positive coping tools, like mindfulness, exercise, proper sleep, meditation, reaching and connecting with a friend.

Most importantly: Get real with how you feel.

And if you aren’t feeling mentally healthy reach out for help. As my Aunt Mary Francis always used to say, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” To this I say, “Amen!”

When we bend, we don’t break!

by Amy Gamble, posted in Uncategorized

I never understood how people could consider a mental illness a “gift.” The very idea of having a disability be a gift made me cringe with disgust. How could anything that caused so much pain, disappointment, embarrassing situations, and extensive losses ever be anything but a freaking curse?

And then 2020 arrived and here we all are in the middle of a dramatic, traumatic worldwide pandemic. Ironically for me to change my perspective about bipolar disorder being a gift, it had to be an earth shattering situation. A metaphoric tsunami.

At last I see the gift.

I’ve seen many articles written about how hard of a time this is for especially people who have serious mental illness. I’m not in that statistic. This time, while not easy for me, this situation I’ve used as a personal growth and reflection opportunity. That is my secret to surviving.

Here is how I see my gift working for me.

Everyday I wake up starts with a mental health check-in. How did I sleep? How are my thoughts? Am I groggy or do I have lots of energy? Do I feel depressed? Am I hopeful? Optimistic? Or do I just feel like going back to bed and sleeping away the blues? I accept whatever I feel. I don’t resist it.

I’ve learned how to manage a mental health condition by monitoring my thinking, emotions and behavior. I watch and reflect on how my brain functions.

Sounds exhausting. But when your brain never shuts off it must be occupied with something productive. So I give it tasks.

When I can’t slow my thoughts down I read to focus. I read and read and read because it’s productive and it helps me to apply my gift.

And as quickly as I can hone in on structure, tasks and discipline it’s as if a switch turns off in my brain and all I want to do is feel the breeze on my cheeks. I drift off in a free wheeling creative space that allows me to relax and dream and just be.

I never really understood how bipolar disorder affected me because it’s simply always been a part of me. Intense focus and goal driven behaviors, high achievement, and a level of empathy that hards to find. Followed sometimes in a flashing moment with a pensive subdued mood, without a care for consequences.

As I’ve learned to successfully manage bipolar disorder I’ve been given many insights to human behavior. Mostly my own. But I understand and grasp mental health to a degree I never would have if it weren’t for this great challenge in life I’ve been given.

The beauty of the gift is being able to share these insights and accumulated knowledge.

This time we are living in is best managed like a tree that is bending in the midst of a tornado. When we bend we don’t break.

Traumatic events can feel like they go on forever and continue to repeat. We are living daily in a real time traumatic event. But it doesn’t have to go on forever, nor does it have to repeat in our minds.

Staying in the present moment is a healthy coping strategy in handling everyday stress and in managing traumatic events. Bipolar disorder and all the subsequent related events around it gave me the gift of knowing and feeling how powerful the present really is.

It’s savoring all the little things in the moment. Simple things. Your child’s smile. The scoop of ice cream you put in your bowl anticipating the cool sweetness you are about to taste. For me it’s putting up a bird feeder and watching all the beautiful birds have a feeding party among different colors, shapes and sizes of nature’s gifts.

Sometimes when we are going through tough times it’s hard to see the good in that situation. Negatives don’t suddenly turn into positives. But what can happen is realizing our brains are built to bend in difficult circumstances. And when we bend we don’t break.

Because of bipolar disorder, my new found gift, I share these insights with you, because without it I might have broken long ago.

Be safe friends. There are hidden gifts in every circumstance.

Amy Gamble